


A Void Of Darkness

by morethnwords



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, Other, Show Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:10:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morethnwords/pseuds/morethnwords
Summary: After Alec & Izzy's unsuccessful attempt to save Jace from Lilith's clutches once and for all, they spend the night at Magnus' loft and Alec struggles with the events that have unfolded, finding comfort in the arms of two of the people he loves most.





	A Void Of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> **this is my first fic/one shot, so any constructive comments or notes are appreciated!

Sleeping was impossible, they both knew that and yet here they lay, both awake and staring up at the ceiling. Magnus was right, there was nothing more they could do tonight, not running on such little sleep and no energy at all. But that didn’t stop Alec from wanting to be out on the streets, at the Institute, looking for Jace, trying to stop Lilith from taking his brother, from consuming him once again. He’d made a promise, and he’d broken that promise, he’d let his parabatai down,  _again_. And trying to sleep knowing that? Impossible. 

Too long he’d let an uncomfortable, tense silence hang between himself and Magnus but it had gone on so long now, breaking it seemed almost irreverent. They both had their own set of worries to mull on and Alec didn’t want to burden Magnus further. Not tonight. He finally sat up, feeling Magnus’ hand lift as he shifted, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, “I’m just going to check on Izzy.” He reassured Magnus but stilled, the slight touch of Magnus’ fingertips against the skin of his back comforting as he inhaled slowly and let himself have a moment of peace. “I’ll be right back, Magnus.” He added, moving to his feet and taking a few steps towards the door before turning to look back at Magnus with an expression of endearment. 

> Alec  ** _loved_**  Magnus. 

Everyone knew that, but watching the selfless way Magnus did everything within his power to help him, to save Jace - it added to the deepness of their love, of their relationship, that even when Alec didn’t have the words to say, he knew he was understood. And loved by a man he’d never dreamed of loving or being loved by. He let an unspoken  _thank you_  pass between them, and while he knew Magnus’ powers didn’t gift him the ability of telepathy, he was sure he saw him mouth the words, ‘ _You’re welcome, Alexander’,_ back at him. With a slight smile he turned back to the door and picked up a sweater on his way out, slipping into the corridor and pulling on the sweater, zipping it half way up his bare chest and moving to the main living space where Isabelle laid out on the couch that Magnus had made up for her.

“We let him down…” Her voice whispered hoarsely before Alec had even announced his presence and he could tell she’d been crying. “I know.” He nodded, his own eyes threatening to well up as he sat next to her, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips, kissing it gently. “We lost him again. And…” He let his words fade because they both knew, there was a chance they wouldn’t get him back this time, a thought neither of them could bare to live with or accept. “Alec, what if we can’t-” “Don’t” Alec spoke abruptly and shook his head, looking down into Isabelle’s bloodshot eyes, “We’re  _going to get him back._ ” He spoke with a confidence that surprised him, taking a moment to let the words sink in, hoping if they settled deep enough he’d believe them too.

“We brought him back once, we can do it again, okay?” Alec added, his resolve growing, he _would_  get Jace back, he would free him from Lilith’s clutches and together, _side by side_ they’d defeat her. Just like they’d defeated every other foe in the past. The Lightwood siblings, standing shoulder to shoulder. They were stronger together. They were unstoppable. Looking to Isabelle he offered a halfhearted smile, “He’s strong, Izzy. We’ll find him, we’ll bring him back and…he’ll be our brother again. I’m sure of it.” He sniffled, wiping at the tear that slowly crawled down his cheek as he felt Isabelle’s smaller hand squeeze his and he squeezed it back, “I know Alec. It’ll be just like it was before…” She smiled, reaching up to cup his cheek in her hand, though her voice was shakey and unconvincing.

 _“Shall I put on some tea?”_ Magnus’ voice filled the room with its lilting tone and Alec looked up with a grateful smile, “Yeah.” He responded quickly and Isabelle sat up, their hands breaking as they shifted and stared back at each other. “We’ll figure out a way.” She promised, leaning up to kiss Alec’s forehead and nodding, Alec mirroring her and nodding along. “Come here.” He whispered, moving onto the couch and pulling Isabelle into his arms, feeling her relax against him completely as he kissed the top of her head. The action brought back a vivid memory from childhood, Isabelle’s first experience with a shax demon had left her shaken, and she’d crawled into Alec’s bed. He remember Jace waking up and joining them, the siblings disregarding strict Institute curfews and building a fort, the brothers working extra hard to take all of Isabelle’s worries away. It was uncomplicated,  _that_  moment, but the same principles applied, there was nothing one of the three wouldn’t do for the others. They would get their brother back, they would be a family again. No matter what the cost.

 _“I’ll leave you be…”_ Alec looked up to find Magnus and shook his head, “You’re family.” He whispered, feeling Isabelle shift as she too looked up, “You better just get in here…” She smiled, motioning the Warlock closer and Alec watched Magnus’ face lift as he slipped in behind him and Alec leaned back into his boyfriend’s arms. “I will do whatever I can to get Jace back.” Magnus whispered and Alec lifted a hand to hold Magnus’, their fingers entwining as they quickly fell into each other’s breathing patterns. “You’ve already done so much.” Alec whispered, his eyes closing, sandwiched in between two of the people he loved most, but still feeling a void where Jace belonged.

 _Be safe, parabatai._  Alec’s thoughts still ran wild, worry riddling his body, though the closeness of his sister and boyfriend did provide relief from some stress, he couldn’t help but continue to replay the way Jace looked when they’d found him inside his mind. Distraught.  ** _Broken_. ** Nothing like the Jace they knew. Fearless and resilient. Ever since he’d come to live with them, a battered and scared young boy, all Alec had ever seen in Jace was bravery and strength. Jace gave Alec the courage to be who he was, Jace inspired Alec’s own sense of self worth. Jace was power. But that wasn’t the Jace he’d seen earlier tonight. Weak and begging for death by the hands of the two people he loved most in the world. It haunted him. It  _taunted_  him, because he was supposed to have  **saved**  Jace. He  **promised**  he would. And he’d failed.  _I will find you. I will go to the ends of the earth to find you. Take my strength parabatai. You will come back to me._  

Alec sighed, his mind exhausted and his body drained, he knew he would be no help in this condition and after some more gentle nudging by Magnus and the hypnotizing rhythm of Isabelle’s quiet snores he let his eyes close. It wasn’t long before his body overrode his mind and he drifted into unconsciousness, though his mind still called out, ached for his parabatai; determination breeding in his sleep so that he would wake with renewed vigor.

> _I’m coming Jace. Just hang on a little longer._


End file.
